Please grade my essay using a standard essay rubric (thesis, evidence, organisation, style, grammar). For each criterion: give a level, quote the sentence it is about, say why, and give me one next step. Keep grammar fixes separate from style suggestions. Give the overall estimated grade last, with your reasoning. Don't rewrite the essay for me. Essay: In the speech, George H. W. Bush conveys his message that him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president through the use of repetition, descriptive diction, and direct address. Bush uses repetition to emphasize how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president. Bush states, "I thank the voters who supported me. I thank the gallant men who entered the contest for this presidency this year... I thank Gov." The speaker repeats the phrase "I thank" to emphasize how their role, which are the people Bush thanks, in Bush's life had a positive impact in his life. By using repetition, the speaker achieves to show the appeals to a pleasant emotion by thanking the people that were there to support Bush. By repeating this phrase, Bush successfully conveyed his message of how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president by mentioning the names that supported Bush to accomplish the big achievement. Therefore, Bush conveys his message of him and Quayle being the best choice to be president and vice president through the use of repetition. Bush uses descriptive diction to highlight his message of him and Quayle being the best choice to be president and vice president. The speaker states, "And I see America as the leader, a unique nation with a special role in the world." The speaker specifically uses these word choices, which are "the leader," "unique nation," and "special role," to emphasize his view of The America overall being called the "American Century" because of how its the "dominant force for goods," how the Americans saved Europe, went to the moon, and so on. By using these word choices, the speaker achieves to show the appeals to statistics by listing some examples that made America as a rising nation. The speaker conveys his purpose of motivating millions of Americans and to build a better America by using descriptive word choices to highlight how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president. Therefore, Bush uses diction to convey his message to the people that supported Bush to achieve his role in the government. Bush uses direct address to emphasize how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president. Bush states, "but now, you must see me for what I am: the republican candidate of the United States... I turn to American people to share my hopes and intentions." The speakers directly address the people to show what he will do to make America a pleasant country and a rising nation. By directly addressing the audience, the speaker achieves to convey his message of how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president. Therefore, Bush uses direct address to convey his message to the people that supported Bush to achieve his role in the government. Overall in the speech, George H. W. Bush conveys his message that him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president through the use of repetition, descriptive diction, and direct address. By using these rhetorical choices, Bush was able to connect to the audience, which are the people who supported him to achieve his goals, to explain and emphasize his message and his purpose of to why him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president.

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into analyzing this speech! Let's explore your essay together using a standard rubric. Remember, the goal here is to help you refine your analytical and writing skills.

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Thesis

• Level: Developing
• Quote: "In the speech, George H. W. Bush conveys his message that him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president through the use of repetition, descriptive diction, and direct address."
• Why: Your thesis clearly identifies the speaker, the general message, and the rhetorical devices you plan to analyze. However, does it fully capture the purpose or argument Bush is making beyond simply stating they were the "best choice"? What specific effect does he intend to have on his audience by using these devices to convey that message?
• Next Step: How might you refine your thesis to articulate not just what Bush says, but why he says it in that particular way, and what specific impact he aims to achieve on his audience?

Evidence

• Level: Beginning
• Quote: "Bush states, 'I thank the voters who supported me. I thank the gallant men who entered the contest for this presidency this year... I thank Gov.'"
• Why: You've included direct quotes from the speech, which is a crucial first step. However, after presenting the quote, how does your analysis connect the specific words within the quote to your claim about repetition, descriptive diction, or direct address? For instance, in the repetition paragraph, you quote "I thank," but then you state, "The speaker repeats the phrase 'I thank' to emphasize how their role, which are the people Bush thanks, in Bush's life had a positive impact in his life." Is the repetition of "I thank" primarily about their positive impact on his life, or might it be doing something else for the audience in the context of a political speech?
• Next Step: After presenting a piece of evidence, what specific words or phrases within that quote are most important for proving your point, and how can you elaborate on how those specific words function to achieve Bush's purpose?

Organization

• Level: Developing
• Quote: "Bush uses repetition to emphasize how him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president." (Topic sentence of the first body paragraph)
• Why: Each of your body paragraphs begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the rhetorical device you'll discuss in that paragraph, which is excellent for structure. However, as you move through the analysis within each paragraph, do your ideas always flow logically from one point to the next? For example, in your repetition paragraph, you move from "I thank" to "appeals to a pleasant emotion" to "mentioning the names that supported Bush." How do these ideas build upon each other to deepen your analysis of repetition's effect?
• Next Step: Consider the internal structure of your body paragraphs. How might you ensure that each sentence within a paragraph contributes directly to the main point of that paragraph, building a clear and cohesive argument about the rhetorical device's effect?

Style

• Level: Beginning
• Quote: "By using repetition, the speaker achieves to show the appeals to a pleasant emotion by thanking the people that were there to support Bush."
• Why: Your writing is generally understandable, but some phrases are a bit wordy or could be more precise. For example, "achieves to show the appeals to a pleasant emotion" could be expressed more directly. Also, you frequently repeat the phrase "him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president." While repetition can be a stylistic choice, how might you vary your sentence structure and word choice to maintain reader engagement and convey your ideas more concisely?
• Next Step: Read your essay aloud. Where do you stumble over phrases, or where do you notice yourself repeating the same ideas or sentence structures? How might you rephrase those sentences to be more concise, varied, and impactful?

Grammar

• Level: Beginning
• Quote: "In the speech, George H. W. Bush conveys his message that him and Quayle were the best choice to be president and vice president through the use of repetition, descriptive diction, and direct address."
• Why: There are several instances where pronoun usage, subject-verb agreement, or sentence structure could be refined. For example, in your thesis, consider the pronoun "him" in "him and Quayle." If you were to remove "and Quayle," would "him were the best choice" sound correct? This suggests a potential pronoun case issue. Similarly, throughout the essay, there are instances where sentences might be run-ons or have awkward phrasing that affects clarity.
• Next Step: Focus on one type of grammatical error at a time. For instance, review your essay specifically for pronoun usage. For each pronoun, ask yourself: Is it in the correct case (subjective, objective, possessive) given its role in the sentence?

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Overall Estimated Grade

Based on this analysis, your essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of rhetorical analysis and essay structure, but it has significant room for development in analytical depth, evidence integration, precision of language, and grammatical correctness.

Estimated Grade: C-

Reasoning: You've successfully identified rhetorical devices and attempted to connect them to Bush's message, showing a grasp of the assignment's core task. However, the analysis often summarizes rather than deeply explains how the devices work, and the connection between the evidence and your claims could be much stronger. The essay also struggles with consistent clarity, conciseness, and grammatical accuracy, which can impede the reader's understanding of your argument. Focusing on refining your analytical explanations, integrating evidence more seamlessly, and polishing your sentence-level writing will significantly strengthen your essays.